LHMP #564k Orr 2006 A Sojourn in Paris - Melle de Sans

[Note: Orr uses Lister’s abbreviation “Melle de Sans” for M[ademois]elle de Sans, which had me confused at first that “Melle” was a given name! I’m shorthanding her simply as “de Sans.”]

De Sans joined Place Vendôme at the beginning of October, at a time when Lister’s courtship of Barlow was in process. Lister quickly began dividing her attention between the two and dithering in her journal over which she wanted to pursue. De Sans was French, but born in England and fluent in both languages. She was in somewhat poor health (an issue with the bowels) which gave Lister a context for doting over her and paying her attention.

After an initial misunderstanding, Lister initiated conversation and regular visits, increasingly involving flirtation. They began exchanging poetic mottos, referencing love and friendship. Barlow commented on Lister’s “new friend” with a jealous tinge. De Sans seemed receptive to the flavor of Lister’s attentions, including an episode of kissing that teetered on the boundary between social and erotic. She signaled her awareness of the eroticism by telling Lister “if [you] were a man I know not what would be the end of all this.” They went for a carriage ride during which Lister “made love” to her and de Sans “coquetted.” [Note: This does not imply genital sex, but more likely verbal flirtation, perhaps with kissing and fondling.]

Lister sounded out her financial situation and possible interest in living in England. She gave the conversation a double “silcrow” sign in her index. She discussed her divided interests with Barlow and spent a fair amount of journal space considering pros and cons of the two. But eventually Lister’s focus shifted more and more to Barlow and the flirtation with de Sans tapered off. Where once the three had engaged in handholding and physical affection as a group, now de Sans became a spectator to Lister flirting with Barlow.

In late October, de Sans experienced a series of “hysterical fits” during which she requested the attendance of Barlow and made no reliance on Lister. In Lister’s journal entries, the more intimate reference format of “Melle de S-” became the more formal Melle de Sans.” De Sans began encouraging the attention of gentlemen suitors.

Later, de Sans became an active mediator when the household politics exploded in December. (More on that later.)

Even after their cooling off, Lister would sometimes toy with the idea of starting up again with de Sans at times when she was having rough patches with Barlow, although the intent seems to have been to make Barlow jealous rather than to seriously switch partners. But Lister continued to write love poetry to de Sans into early January—an event that precipitated another “hysterical” fit. But by mid-January, Lister and Barlow has moved out into their own place (more on that later). They still visited with de Sans, and Lister even abetted de Sans’ meetings with a male suitor whom she eventually married months later. After de Sans left Paris, they corresponded only once, though Barlow later provided the news of de Sans’ marriage.